Ram Dass once wrote a letter to family who were grieving over the loss of their little girl.
“She finished his work on earth, and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and desolation.
I can’t assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is her legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.
Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to her, and thank him for being with you these few days, and encourage him to go on with whatever his work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience. In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other. And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: Why this had to be the way it was.
Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts – if we can keep them open to God – will find their own intuitive way. She came through you to do his work on earth, which includes his manner of death. Now his soul is free, and the love that you can share with him is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space.”
~ originally written by Ram Dass
Throughout time it’s been difficult to know what to say during times like these. With all of the spiritual phrases that we can say to try and bring a different perspective that provide comfort and expand us beyond this reality…we are still HERE experiencing it fully and rightly so.
To lose ourselves in love.
To feel.
To cry tears of loss.
To know our hearts so intimately and directly that our hearts almost burst with emotion.
At some time in the future, at the end of our grieving, our hearts will mend and our thoughts will be lifted. Until then, we dive into the despair and grief and no one who comes to us in despair, sadness and grief can say “You don’t know this pain.” Because, it will be in that moment, that time will stop. We will reflect back and be ever-grateful for our own experience. As an inner warmth envelopes our heart, we begin to offer our gift to an unknown number of souls.
Abraham-Hicks: “Sometimes someone will be sick, and a daughter or someone who loves a sick person will say, “Abraham, I’m wanting to help this person.” And we say, just hold the image of them in a place of utter Well-being, and trust that through the path of least resistance, either they will recover and Well-being will be restored here, or they will withdraw and Well-being will be restored there. But in either case, whether they stay or whether they have what you call death experience, the Well-being is always restored. Whether it is someone who has just been bipping along in physical experience who has been meditating, who knows the sweetness of Connection on a day-to-day basis, who says, “Ah, this life experience has been so wonderful and I think I will now turn my attention to another aspect of my life experience,” closes their eyes as they put themselves in the bed, make the transition, and they are discovered as having made their transition in the night. Or whether they have some violent experience, where at the gun of an enemy, or the gun of someone violent, or a car crash they make their transition. As they make their transition, ultimately it is still the same experience.“
